Sunday, April 27, 2008

Operation: Trojan Horse

The last few days have been exciting.

I've called two Senators, two Congressmen, my county District Attorney, my county Sheriff, the FDA, and the DEA to ask why the government is lying to the American people about medical marijuana. Here are my results:

U.S. Congressman JOHN CARTER - I spoke with the public affairs rep and asked him why the government was lying to its citizens about medical marijuana. I explained to him that I am an ethnobotanist and that I study medicinal plants. I told him that certain members of my family have illnesses that are treatable with cannabis sativa, and that this plant has been used as a medicine since humans first cultivated it eight thousand years ago. I then told him of my plans to grow it, so that my family might use this medicine instead of going into debt to receive "modern medicine" that has generally failed to alleviate their suffering. I asked the Rep if he understood why this was important. "Yes" he replied. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he understood.

U.S. Senator Kay Bailey-Hutchison- I explained my question to the first phone Rep that picked up, and after hearing it, she replied, "That is a big question". She then transferred me to someone that worked closer to the Senator. He heard my question, and advised that I leave this comment on her voicemail comment line. So, after speaking with two phone Reps about my concerns, I was finally transferred to a voice mail comment line, in which I clearly explained my question. I have yet to hear back.

Texas Congressman Dan Gattis - I don't really like this guy to begin with, so my comment on his voicemail wasn't the nicest one, but it was direct, to the point, and hopefully, capable of catching his attention. I might have to try again later...

Texas Senator Steve Ogden - another voicemail comment in which I explained that I was an ethnobotanist studying medicinal plants and I wanted to know why the government is lying about medical marijuana. This time, I included the potential benefits of legalizing the plant, such as allowing farmers to grow non-food stock biofuel crops, improving the productive capacities of our economy, and reducing the demands on law enforcement and the judicial system. I have yet to hear back,

Texas Governor Rick Perry - well, this guy is just a slick corporate-lobby-lover anyway, so my comment on his voicemail was not all that nice. In a semantic sense, my comment to him was the equal of a poop fight in a monkey cage.

the DEA - this was the fun phone call. A Public Affairs operator was the first to receive my call. I asked her the question, and she quickly stated that she refuted my claims (FINALLY, we're getting somewhere). I informed her that her data was corrupt, unreasonable, and non scientific. She stated that I needed to bring that claim to the FDA, which apparently provides the scientific data that structures the policies of the DEA (the FDA does this, makes you feel much better now, doesn't it). I told her that I would contact the FDA about this, but first, I implored her to raise my initial question to her surpervisor, and while she was at it, to contact her representatives and ask the same question. I informed her that her department was losing integrity and legitimacy because they were enforcing flawed policies. At this point, she began speaking over me, apparently because she wasn't in the mood to have her cage rattled by the truth. When she realized that I was in control of the conversation, she hung up...

but it gets better...

I promptly called back. This time, a DEA supervisor answered my call (he had been waiting for me, I guess). I asked him the same question. He avoided my question and tried to scare me. Well, let's just say that I told him to take notes (which he said he did "copiously"), and then I informed him that his department was losing integrity because it was lying to the people it served. He didn't like this, and tried to scare me by implying that he was coming after me... I told him to do some research, and I hung up.

you can't make brownies without breaking some eggs. No offense, Mr. DEA, whoever you are. You are just on the wrong side of an endangered social contract.

the FDA - after wading through a painfully long automated phone system, I finally reached a voicemail where I could leave my question. Hmm... the wall is REALLY dense here.

The White House - another voicemail. our government really likes voicemail, but I have to wonder if they are really listening.. (Pssh, of course they're not!)

my county Sheriff - I called his office, and explained that I was an ethnobotanist studying medicinal plants, and I wanted to know why the government was lying to us about medical marijuana. The phone operator there politely suggested that I call the county District Attorney. i thanked him, and hung up. He handled the question nicely, although he gave me yet another "i don't know".

my District Attorney - another voicemail message. I don't know if the D.A. got my message, but I haven't heard from anyone yet, so I guess not...

well, this was a great exercise in probing the WALL OF LIES.

Now, what I need is a Trojan Horse...


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