Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Naive Ville

Welcome to Naive-ville, population 13,000. Everyone is righteous in this town. There is no crime, no violence, no drugs, and no alcohol.

Life has been sweet for folks of Naive-ville, since it’s establishment in 1865. But lately, a danger has crept into the bedrooms, basements, and back woods of this God-fearing town. It takes the form of a purple-colored syrup, and it is stealing the youthfull-ness away from Naive-ville boys and girls.

The boys and girls fall prey to this purple menace when it is forced upon them by pushers. These pushers obtain the purple scum from other slimy dealers around the more liberal parts of the country.

The boys and girls of Naive-ville drink the purple poison in “cap shots”, usually taking turns in a group setting. They become wildly intoxicated, and often resort to sexual abnormalities before passing out completely.

The Deputy Sheriff of Naive-ville called in a narcotics specialist from the capital city to investigate this tragic series of events. The narcotics specialist tested samples of the purple demon, and concluded that the purple pest was nothing more than cough syrup.

Said Thom Hoberts, narcotics specialist for Flower County, “this is a medicine, not a joyride. You are naive, boys and girls, and you don’t know the difference.”

Many of the parents of the boys and girls reacted bitterly.

“How dare he call our children naive!” declared one parent.

The Mayor of Naive-ville today suggested that the town councel ban the cough syrup.

"Medicine or not, this stuff is bad news" said the Mayor.

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